Armageddon Creeped Out 37: Taking Stock

Actually,  “taking stock” here means that the good guys are sizing up the situation. They really don’t want to take any of it; it’s real bad.

By the way, the comments are working just fine, now!

Are you hungry after all this adventuring? How about a nice sandwich?


Don’t get me started on Aliens 2! Alien 3 would’ve worked if it wasn’t for the terrible CGI, but everyone was pulling crap like that back then. But Aliens 2…gah.

Hey! Let’s take this awesome Haunted House In Space movie and turn it into a video game!

I’m giving you the finger right now, James Cameron!

I dunno, some people swear by Aliens 2… but I found myself swearing AT it! I could not believe Ripley would go back to that planet (I mean, would YOU?)… there’s a cute widdle girl who magically avoided all the Lovecraftian horror-monsters all that time, there’s a “nice” android to replace the nasty one, Ripley turns into Superwoman… and the whole thing was too long and loud. Mr. Cameron went on to make more bloated chick-flicks. Meh.

Nah, for me, what killed the franchise was A3…”Three times the action! Three times the suspense! Three times the HORROR!”. That was actually the promo banner just outside the theatre.

And my brain added, automatically, “One-third the movie”.

Which turned out to be overly optimistic, what with most of the film being shot in a foundry which had the WORST acoustics I have EVER heard in a film. Someone would start talking and three seconds later the echoes would drown out anything else. It LOOKED kind of cool, but for me there was effectively no dialogue at all.

Not that I really missed much there, either. And of course, there was killing off the kid from A2 with no damn way it could have happened like that. And a good half-dozen other things which made the whole thing a damn snoozefest with the best parts being where the Aliens kill various of the idiots off.

Aliens was okay. Just combine “Galaxy of Terror” with Heinlien’s “Starship Troopers” and you’ve got Aliens. (Funny how you can say that about so much of Cameron’s work, huh? “Oh, Terminator was just like the old Outer Limits Episode by Ellison… Aliens was like Heinlein… The Abyss was like “Sphere”… “Avatar was like Pocahontas meets “Call Me Joe”… And so on…)

ALIENS (aka Alien 2) was the best film of the series, IMHO. The original film was horror, the second was action/adventure. Both presented new ideas and well-developed characters with an interesting and unique problem.

I was warned never to watch ALIEN 3, if I wanted to maintain my fondness for the franchise. From the clips that I’ve seen, this warning was well-deserved.

The other ALIEN films are not even worthy of the title. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

“Starship Troopers” or “Judge Dredd” are film adaptations that should have been included in the stacks of bad movies. Well, maybe not, maybe they were stacked in a sewage treatment pond, where they belonged.

ALIENS, the best of the series?? I dunno, Jeff, you must’ve seen the good version, while the theater I went to showed the crappy version. ;)

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